


i was about to hug you (but i didn't)

by jaeson



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:00:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeson/pseuds/jaeson
Summary: He knows he should have come to terms with the fact that he actually likes Guanlin the way he does - but it just doesn't add up to him why he had to know about it now, when Guanlin was hundreds of miles away.





	i was about to hug you (but i didn't)

"What’s up, butt face?"

It’s not even 8 a.m. and Jihoon's day already sucks.

First of all, his alarm had been way too late - probably because he forgot to change it to the right time last night - thus he missed his bus and had to come running to school.

Now, even Lai Guanlin, current exchange student and resident flower boy, had to make an appearance.

Wonderful.

"Nothing much, asshole," Jihoon responds with his cutest smile. "What do you want, my dear boo?"

Guanlin responds with his best disgusted face.

"You’re not cute even if you try," the younger points out; Jihoon just sticks his tongue out. "Have you seen Jinyoung anywhere?"

"My best friend Jinyoung? Hmmm..." Jihoon slams his locker door shut. "I’m afraid I haven’t, sorry!"

In fact, Jinyoung had just passed by to say hello before scurrying to his first period Korean history class. But Jihoon is not going to say that.

"Now, I don't have more time to waste, hope we don't see each other again!" Jihoon calls out as he walks away.

***

But of course they see each other again.

Jihoon is silently eating his lunch, sitting with Samuel and Daehwi as they talk about their current psychology project, when Guanlin and Jinyoung appear.

The Taiwanese boy is obviously being dragged to sit with them, if Jinyoung’s hand on his wrist and Guanlin’s pout are anything to go by.

Jinyoung, not so surprisingly, sits down next to Daehwi. The both of them smile at each other before Daehwi continues talking. Guanlin, however, remains standing next to the table, glaring at the only seat that’s available - the one next to Jihoon.

"What? Aren’t you going to sit down? Are you so afraid to fall in love with me?" Jihoon teases, blinking repeatedly with his most adorable smile.

"I'm more afraid of catching your 'I-suck-at-English' bug," Guanlin retorts, unwillingly sitting down.

"I’m sorry mister 'I-have-never-had-a-perfect-score-in-math'," Jihoon replies.

"You’re just jealous I was the top of the class last semester," Guanlin accuses him.

"Sorry to break it to you, but we have the joint first place, loser," Jihoon defends himself. "You should work on your memory, it sure is getting worse."

"Can you guys stop bickering for at least one minute?" Samuel laughs, definitely way too amused by the situation. "Some people here are even struggling to be in the average half of the class."

Jihoon and Guanlin just glare at each other one last time ere both of them go back to their own meals.

***

To be honest, Jihoon isn't even sure why he and Guanlin are so antagonistic towards each other.

It seems to have been like this since the first day they met.

Jinyoung had excitedly greeted them, grin on his face as he told them that he had befriended the new Taiwanese student and that exactly that same student was going to be hanging out with them at lunch, right then and there.

Jihoon had been too concentrated with studying for a biology quiz to even notice Guanlin sit down beside them. Thus he had neither greeted him nor tried to make some small talk like he usually would.

This happened for the remainder of the week, Guanlin sitting with them and Jihoon learning for something or the other.

Then, when the stressful project and learning phase had ended, Jihoon and Guanlin began their "bickering", or at least that's what their friends called their interactions.

It didn't help that for every semester after Guanlin arrived, Jihoon and him would fight for the number 1 spot in their class.

But if Jihoon is honest, the thing he hates the most, or nicer said, annoys him the most about Guanlin is how little effort he has to put into studying to get the same or an even better result than Jihoon in his exams. And as if that wasn't enough, he is handsome, too.

***

Finally, at 4 p.m., classes end and Jihoon is free from all the bad things (e.g. Guanlin) that school entails.

"Hey," Jihoon is surprised to hear the exact same person he was thinking of call out to him.

It’s weird because of a lot of different things.

Firstly, Guanlin would never call or talk to him - no matter what happened, both of them would rather die than talk to each other and secondly, Guanlin would never smile while calling for him.

Jihoon is too astonished to respond.

"Congrats on having a full score on the math quiz, again," Guanlin laughs, eyes crinkling - and what the fuck?

Guanlin pulls him in for a hug, with shoulder patting and everything. Jihoon just stands there tense for the whole ten seconds it lasts.

After that, Guanlin seems to regain his sanity because he just lets go and leaves the classroom without saying another word.

Needless to say, Jihoon is confused.

***

Even at home, Jihoon can't stop thinking about Guanlin. And his hug.

***

The day after that Guanlin is back to normal - or at least almost normal. Okay well, maybe the only "normal" thing about Guanlin today is that he made Jihoon be late for his first class by chatting with him.

Anyway, Guanlin stands nearer to Jihoon than he usually would and there's a special kind of fondness behind his every banter. The Taiwanese boy is even smiling at him with his gummy smile that's usually only aimed at the rest of his friends.

It kind of makes Jihoon uncomfortable so he just makes sure that his words are twice as rude as they normally would be to make up for it.

***

At lunch, Guanlin is still not... normal. He willingly sits down next Jihoon - without protesting, which is unusual to say the least.

The younger boy doesn't even flinch when Daehwi starts saying they look like the cutest couple.

"They seriously look so cute," Jinyoung agrees.

"Yeah, do we?" Guanlin replies, wrapping his arms around Jihoon's shoulders and squishing his face against Jihoon's.

He pushes Guanlin’s face away, feeling his face heat up, and digs into his hamburger.

Guanlin’s laugh that follows makes him blush even more.

***

Jihoon isn’t sure how or why their dynamic has changed so much over the span of one day when it has stayed the same for over two yeas.

***

At the end of the day, right after Guanlin and Jihoon's student council activities, it starts raining. Jihoon curses at himself for forgetting his umbrella this morning - even more so, because his mother will be waiting with an "I told you so" look on her face when he arrives at home, all drenched and exhausted.

He is getting ready to run for his life with his jacket as a shield and hey, he actually goes through with it, but Guanlin pops up next to him in seconds, holding up an umbrella that covers the both of them, saving Jihoon from getting even wetter than he already is.

"What? Are you going to decline my offer to take you home with this amazing umbrella just because it's me offering to do that?" Guanlin questions, eyebrows raised.

Jihoon actually feels kind of offended. He is not that stupid.

"I didn't even say anything," he grumbles, blush coming back.

"Jihoon, you never had to say anything, your face says it all, like always," Guanlin replies with a huge, stupidly attractive grin on his face.

He pretends as if he hadn't heard anything.

***

They walk in relative silence; Guanlin randomly jumps into little puddles and stops to look at small, hipster stores just as randomly.

It's about to get to the awkward point of the walk but Guanlin starts to talk about their upcoming finals, asking Jihoon if he has had any difficulties learning for them, which makes the almost awkwardness disappear instantly. Instead, the all too well known final related tiredness and annoyance comes.

For a moment, Jihoon forgets that their usual interactions are filled with banter and mutual dislike.

***

It takes twice as much time than it normally would to make it to Jihoon's house but he can't find it in himself to complain, Guanlin had actually been a really nice travel companion.

"Uh, thanks for walking me home?" Jihoon says, awkwardly scratching his left arm.

Guanlin just snorts at him.

The younger boy puts the umbrella down, letting small rain droplets fall onto them and pulls Jihoon into an embrace.

This one feels different than their previous hug - more intimate, more... them.

Guanlin has his head in the crook of Jihoon's neck and his arms tightly wrapped around the older boy's waist as he slouches down for the hug.

Jihoon too, is more responding to this hug. He has his chin resting comfortably on Guanlin’s shoulder and his hands around Guanlin’s lower back.

It feels kind of nice.

They stay like that for at least five minutes before Jihoon can feel Guanlin sigh against his neck. The younger boy pulls away with a smile and takes his umbrella.

"Bye, Park Jihoon," he says, gummy smile and crinkling eyes.

Jihoon just waves back with a small smile of his own.

***

The whole night the only thing that is on Jihoon's mind is Guanlin and how utterly nice it feels to have all of Guanlin and his lanky form hug him.

***

The next day comes and, although it seems like a miracle, Jihoon is not late for once.

Weirdly, none of his friends seem to be around, so he has no other choice than to head to his class alone.

He takes his English book, shuts down all the Guanlin related thoughts the item brings him and slams his locker shut.

***

It’s not until lunch that Jihoon sees his friends. Nothing seems out of the ordinary; Samuel is sitting in front of Jinyoung and Daehwi, while the two look at each other like they're the best thing that has ever happened in each other's lives.

"Where have you guys been all day?" he asks as soon as he sits down.

"What do you mean? Don’t you know?" Samuel questions back. "Thought you, our intelligent, “I never forget anything”, boy, would know out of all people."

"Hm... Did I miss something important?" Jihoon literally can't remember anything.

"Figures," Daehwi sighs. "You didn't like Guanlin all that much anyway."

Jihoon goes tense at that.

"Can you guys come to the point? What did I miss? What was so important?" he is starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"You’ll notice soon enough," Daehwi smirks.

With that all of his friends go back to their easy chatter and pizza. He shrugs his shoulders and joins in.

***

It takes almost a whole week for Jihoon to actually notice.

Guanlin is not at school. He is in none of their classes and he hasn't shown up to eat with them for lunch. Plus the younger boy hasn't been pestering Jihoon for his math notes for the upcoming finals.

It seems almost as if he vanished from the face of earth.

Jihoon wouldn't even have noticed, if his classmate Woojin hadn't brought it to his attention after their biology class.

"Jihoon, since Guanlin is not here, you have to actually do the classroom cleaning today," the other boy had said.

It surprised him for two reasons, one, he already mentioned it but Guanlin wasn't there and secondly, fuck, he hadn't done the classroom cleaning for two years. Exactly those years Guanlin had been there.

"Wait, did Guanlin usually do my turns for me?" he asks, astonished.

"Yeah, I thought you knew?" Woojin raises his eyebrows. "He mentioned something about you having to concentrate on your studies, etc."

Jihoon just nods, he feels kind of numb inside. He had never done something as nice for Guanlin, never even considered to.

All of a sudden, he feels anxiety bubbling up in his body. He decides to ignore whatever it is though.

Maybe Guanlin is sick or something.

***

Jihoon sighs as he sits down next to his friends. Daehwi shoots him a worried look.

"Are you okay?" Daehwi asks. "You look really pale."

"Yeah, I’m good," he replies, not really being able to form the unconcerned smile he was aiming for. "Where the heck is Guanlin?"

"Wow, now you notice," Samuel laughs smugly - Jihoon wishes he would choke on his piece of meat. "Two things, one, I won, so pay up you losers, and secondly, he's back in Taiwan."

Jihoon feels something in his stomach sink, he doesn't know why or what it is, but he feels very weird. The anxiety he felt earlier starts to resurface.

"Yeah, his visa expired so he had to go back," Jinyoung continues. "And just so you know, I’m not paying, I didn't agree to the bet!"

Samuel begins to argue that Jinyoung did, then Daehwi starts saying something else and they get distracted. Jihoon, however, still hasn't been able to wrap the fact that Guanlin is in Taiwan - and will probably stay there - around his head.

It explains how not like himself he had acted before disappearing, being all chummy and smiley and nice and - and the fuck...

"Can you guys stop talking about your stupid bet for a minute?" Jihoon interrupts them.

Samuel, Daehwi and Jinyoung simultaneously actually stop, looking at him as if he grew a second head.

"Is he coming back? Guanlin, I mean," Jihoon says with a frown.

All of them seem to deflate, Daehwi looking at the floor and Jinyoung is trying to look at anything but him.

"Do you even want him to?" Samuel shoots back. "It’s not like you cared, it didn't even seem like you liked him very much."

"That doesn't matter now, does it?" Jihoon answers. "He was part of the group so of course I care!"

"You care but forget about the day he is supposed to fly back to Taiwan?" Jinyoung asks. "I’m not saying you don't care or anything, but I’m more than a little bit surprised that you actually do."

"Well, I am confused about that too!" Jihoon snaps. "Jesus Christ, when did he say anything about that?"

How can he not be confused? He never actually hated or resented Guanlin, but still, their dynamic and most of their interactions involved their dislike for one another, always bickering and insulting each other.

The younger boy was an easy outlet for all of his frustrations and need to banter, a rival with equal abilities. He hadn't thought about what would happen if he wasn't there anymore - never needed to until now.

It feels unreal.

When he didn't notice the absence, it didn't really matter but now that he knows, it's weird.

It’s weird not having Guanlin in front of him taunting him because of his English skills. It feels weird not being able to steal Guanlin’s chocolate puddings and it overall just doesn’t seems right.

"What? Are you missing him?" Daehwi asks, curiously.

Jihoon doesn't know how to respond to that. Maybe? Yes?

"Shut up and just keep me informed if he's coming back or not," Jihoon snaps and then digs into his salad.

***

Weeks - three to be exact, but Jihoon isn't counting, right? - pass before he gets any Guanlin related updates.

Jinyoung comes running to them, with an excited puppy smile and his lunch. He sits down, gulps a sip of water and then literally beams at them, as if he had just won a million dollars.

"Did you pass the French exam?" Daehwi asks, looking hopeful.

"As if!" Jinyoung responds, his excitement subdued for only a second ere it emerges for a second time. "So, I skyped with Guanlin yesterday and he said that he got his parents to agree to -"

Jihoon is, no, not excited, it feels different. A special kind of happiness starts to spread in his body, making his heartbeat quicken, and a rare full on grin makes an appearance. The news sound good and he hopes that they have something to do with Guanlin coming back to Korea.

"Buy him a play station! Isn’t it really cool?"

Of fucking course.

***

It’s the weekend before their finals and Jihoon hates himself. He knows he should be cramming last minute information into his brain until he falls asleep on his desk, but... but he can't seem to concentrate.

It bothers him even more because he knows the exact reason. Lai Guanlin. 16. Taiwanese. A freaking giant.

He knows he should have come to terms with the fact that he actually  _likes_  Guanlin the way he does - but it just doesn't add up to him why he had to know about it now, when Guanlin was hundreds of miles away and not while the Taiwanese boy was here for two years.

He hates himself so much that instead of studying he goes for a pint of ice cream and _the edge of seventeen_ , like the teenager he is.

***

Jihoon comes exactly on time for his first final - math, thank god. It makes him feel less guilty about not studying at all during the weekend. Jinyoung, Daehwi and Samuel smile at him from where they are sitting.

He notices that every seat in the classroom is taken besides the one next to him, which makes him feel kind of uneasy.

The teacher is handing out the exams when - the actual hell?

Lai Guanlin walks in in all of his glory. The younger boy looks better, more tanned and with a better haircut.

Jihoon seems to forget how to breathe.

Guanlin apologizes for being late and then sits down next to Jihoon.

Jihoon can't help himself, so he just stares at Guanlin until the boy turns around towards him with a smug smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Am I so pretty to look at that you can't take your eyes off?" Guanlin asks, gummy smile in place.

"Yeah," Jihoon says confidently. "The prettiest."

***

Jihoon is a hundred percent sure that this is going to be the first time in his life that he doesn't get a full score in the math final.

***

As soon as their exam is over, he takes a hold of a surprised Guanlin’s hand and leaves the classroom – Jinyoung and Daehwi looking at them bewildered, Samuel just smirks smugly and mouths “good luck” directly at him.

Guanlin doesn’t complain at all until they arrive at the school’s rooftop, instead he is holding Jihoon’s hand tightly and not so subtly protecting Jihoon from bumping into people in the hallway by shielding him with his body.

That action makes Jihoon’s heartbeat increase ever so slightly.

***

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going back to Taiwan, you asshole?” is the first thing that leaves Jihoon’s mouth when they sit down on a bench near the edge of the rooftop.

He was aiming for an “I missed you” or “Fuck, I am so in love with you, please date me”, but his brain doesn’t seem to be cooperating with him. Guanlin doesn’t seem to want to play along either because he just stares at Jihoon with an unimpressed look.

“Thought you knew,” Guanlin answers. “It’s not like I made it a secret, plus Jinyoung talked about it for weeks before I actually did fly back.”

“Oh,” Jihoon replies, awkwardly fiddling with his fingers.

The both of them stay silent after that. Guanlin stares at the sky, the light making him look like an angel, what with his tanned skin, plumb lips and dark hair. The only thing that’s missing is some wings and a halo.

Jihoon just looks at his lap, not knowing what to do or even what outcome he had expected from coming up here – He should have known that as the most awkward person on planet earth, things wouldn’t happen like he wanted them to. Jihoon should have known that instead of confessing his feelings calmly and rationally, he would be an absolute mess.

“Did you drag me all the way here just to ask me that?” Guanlin inquires, turning around to look at Jihoon. “Because I don’t think that’s the only reason.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he simply doesn’t. Just stays quiet, still looking down and folds more into himself.

Guanlin stands up then. For a millisecond Jihoon is afraid that he’ll just go away, leave him there and never look back, but of course Guanlin surprises him. The Taiwanese boy squats down in front of him and places his hands on Jihoon’s knees. He leans in so that his lips are only centimeters away of the older boy’s right ear.

“You know, your constant bitch face is no match for me, I can read you like an open book, Park Jihoon,” Guanlin whispers, breathe tickling Jihoon. “I know how madly in love you are with me.”

That makes Jihoon snort.

“Even when confessing you make me cringe uncontrollably,” Jihoon grimaces, but the smallest hint of a smile is on his face.

A laugh escapes Guanlin’s lips. It sounds nice, although kind of high pitched, it makes Jihoon relax instantly – and why did he have to discover that Guanlin was so utterly beautiful two years after first meeting him?

They look at each other for a few seconds before the younger boy seems to have enough of just looking. He takes a hold of Jihoon’s hands, makes him stand up and then hugs him tightly. Guanlin is so tall he seems to engulf all of Jihoon with his body, it feels weirdly satisfying, makes Jihoon want to stay there hiding all day.

“Ah, between,” Guanlin mumbles, lips caressing the crook of Jihoon’s neck. “I like you too.”

“Yeah, figured,” Jihoon replies acting way more composed than he feels. “I mean, you flew over from Taiwan just to see me.”

“Pretty sure I flew back because of the finals but whatever,” Guanlin playfully points out.

The Taiwanese boy suddenly straightens his body, towering over Jihoon, then he lifts his arms and cups Jihoon’s face. Guanlin squishes his cheeks for a couple of seconds, quietly giggling and smiling happily.

Jihoon, also all in a sudden, feels quiet brave so he stands on his tip toes and leans forward, pecking Guanlin on the lips. Although it’s obvious that the younger boy is surprised, he still responds to the kiss.

He caresses Jihoon’s cheeks softly and deepens the kiss. If Jihoon had to describe the kiss, he would say it was quite lazy, both of them enjoying the slow pace, and also it's utterly awesome.  

“Jesus, had I known kissing you would feel this good, I would have done it sooner,” Jihoon hums happily.

“Well,” Guanlin starts, Jihoon can feel how smug he is going to be just by the way he speaks. “It’s difficult to resist someone as amazing as me, although it did take you long enough. I’m still not sure how you managed to ignore how perfect I am.”

“Your mouth is the problem, you talk so much shit it’s almost hard to believe,” Jihoon points out with a laugh.

“I’m pretty sure my mouth is perfectly fine,” Guanlin smirks ere he leans in for another kiss.

And well, Jihoon has to admit, as he kisses the younger boy again, that Guanlin’s mouth is and works perfectly fine, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo... my fourth request! i loved all the ongniel requests but im really happy to have gotten some panwink! ((and im still hoping for some howons ^^))
> 
> i hope you guys liked it and thank you so much for reading! id appreciate some feedback in the comments too! thank you!


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